My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
