All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
my poor anus
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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