It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
