Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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