i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
