i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and she was petting her beer can
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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