all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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