we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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