Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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