yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
