Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
