I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
