Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
