I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
