shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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