remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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