There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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