ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
