butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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