My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
