Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
