He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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