nut hugger
youre lurking in front of me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
