Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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