im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
