Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
