i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
