Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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