she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
