Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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