Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
