Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
