i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
