I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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