I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize