I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
