Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize