You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
