And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
