it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
