ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i believe in u and ur pee
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
