It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
