He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
