i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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