i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
