Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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