I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
