Where did you get a picture of my penis
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
