nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need water and some morals
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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