girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize