hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
