worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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