Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize