I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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