Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
