we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
