Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
