So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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