it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
