He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
