Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
