Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
