Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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